The First Clean Sex Joke Book

Summary

Sex is the most talked about, written about, sung about and read about subject on earth. Yet the paradox is that it is the least understood.

Never has our country needed more meetings to talk about a subject in the context of relationships and true intimacy, and not the false intimacy that is so prevalent in our society. I have written this joke book which I dedicate to my wife. She got thrust into committing her life talking about Abstinence, Chastity, and Relationships. She’s now an expert on teaching kids to purge their urge, put your lust in the dust, and your drive in park. If you indulge, you may bulge. Pet your dog, not your date, even if your date’s a dog.

Our family has had a lot of laughs along this journey. Life gets so intense you have to learn to laugh at everyday situations. This book is also dedicated to those who speak on this sensitive subject.

Excerpts

On Beauty:

- I’m tired about all this talk about beauty being only skin deep. That’s deep enough.What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

- Beauty is only skin deep but that ugly, goes clear to the bone.

On Birth Control:

- They now have a birth control pill for men. So far the results are very encouraging. Not one man has gotten pregnant.

- A woman who has twins is nervous, Her husband is nervous, her parents are nervous. Even the twins are beside themselves.

On Love:

- Atrial fibrillation is when your heart starts beating quickly and you’re short of breath. The same exact symptoms as falling in love.

- The weaker sex is actually the stronger sex, because the weakness of the stronger sex is the weaker sex.

On Spouses:

- For my birthday my wife bought me some, “Old Spouse” cologne. So in return I gave her for her birthday some “Oil of Ol Lady.”

- He loves his wife terribly, but she stays with him anyway.