When a person is born, they come out of a nice warm environment, buck naked, covered with goo. The first thing a doctor does is slap you. Then they take you in another room and spray silver nitrate in your eyes because they assume your mother had gonorrhea. They give you man made sugar water instead of breast milk, and you owe the government $15,000.00 right off the bat. No wonder we start out in life kicking and screaming. We have to eventually learn to laugh.
The Good Book says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22. And lately we’ve been treating a lot of dry bones. Every doctor’s office needs to offer some laughter just for therapy. It’s like jogging on the inside – exercise for the mind and soul. Even a forced smile is better than a sincere grouch. And even a grouch doesn’t like to live with a grouch.
According to research it takes at least 9 laughs/day just to keep your sanity and with inflation it’s now up to 14. One guy went to a psychiatrist and said, “I keep dreaming I’m a bridge.” The psychiatrist said, “What in the world has come over you?” He said, “So far ten cars, three trucks and a bus.” He who laughs, lasts. We need more taffy and less epitaphy in our lives.
Too many are suffering from that deadly disease: Bowel Optate, otherwise known as Optic Rectitis. That’s when your bowel nerves and your eye nerves get crossed and you get a crappy outlook. Too many walk around like they were weaned on pickles. Some people light up the room whenever they leave. You couldn’t warm up to them if you were cremated with them.
Sixty percent of medications are not prescribed to treat disease. They are prescribed to treat people’s emotions. What would the real mood of America be without Prozac? A psychiatrist said, “I’ve never had to treat a patient who has learned the art of laughing at himself.” A principle of life is to never complain unless you’re talking to your doctor. Because half the people could care less and the other half are glad you got what’s coming to you. Also, never criticize until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. Then it’s OK because you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
When is the last time you had a good belly laugh? I mean one where you have to hold your stomach, your sides ache and you almost fall out of your chair? Your eyes start to cry and you lose all sense of self control. You are literally too weak to stand up. When is the last time that has happened? God created laughter. Only man can laugh. If a dog slips on the ice, other dogs don’t point and laugh. It helps mankind to restore our psychological equilibrium. Humor uplifts the mind and soul. We need to see life with perspective. A heck of a lot of life is a riot. We’ve collected these one-liners over the 40 years to help you smile at the storms of life.